What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 00:23
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Fallout Shelter has been downloaded over 230 million times in 10 years - Eurogamer
Im still living with it.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Why do very skinny girls get more male attention if it is true that men like curves?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We all went to grammer schools
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Cher’s Son Elijah Blue Allman Hospitalized After ‘Acting Erratically’ - Rolling Stone
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
The #1 Spice to Help You Poop, According to Dietitians - EatingWell
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
LEGO Fortnite's Switch 2 Release Will Be Followed By A New Game Mode Next Week - Nintendo Life
Put me off passion for life!!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
This is soul school!.
I don,t even have a pension.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
He resisted the act ,that day.
What do you typically do while on meth?
I could never make a relationship work though!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Do you want to have an XXX chat?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I never cut or harmed myself..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
It was going to be , some day.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My family never makes their pension either.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As i do to all so called friends.?
My life is so biszare .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was 9 years of age.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Why did i forgive my father ?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
One cannot live in the past .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
But, we were locked up after school.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Comes on , in middle age.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I said to her
I waited trembling.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was scared of men, in general
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
All the time i was locked up.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I have no regrets .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She married twice! .
I couldn’t, believe it.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I write beautiful poetry .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Ive learnt so much.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
When she asked me how she looked .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But it wasn’t much.
We were not on the streets..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
What did i know ?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Would this be the day?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And i lived it daily.
I will be 64.
He knew the spot.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I was seconnd youngest,
So, i spoilt her more .
Especially a lifetime of it.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She found it foreign!.
She loved him until the end.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Who then, do I blame.?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
So whats the point in blame.
She wouldn,t have been !
My mum and dad in the seventies!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I think the readers, may guess!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She was in good health!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I was very sick at this time too.
(And it was in our own minds.)